Taylor Swifties

by Holly Richmond

“He took my innocence over by the old oak tree,” sang Taylor hollowly.

“Joe joined up with the Army at just 18,” sang Taylor generally.

“Without you, there’s no color, no light, no sound,” sang Taylor artlessly.

“You taught me to paddleboard while keeping our love afloat,” sang Taylor buoyantly.

“Kissin’ him left a bad taste in my mouth,” sang Taylor sourly.

“I’ll call the cops if you darken my door,” sang Taylor arrestingly.

“I leant him my heart, and he leant me his toothbrush,” Taylor bristled.

“He kissed Snow White, but she kept on sleeping,” sang Taylor grim(m)ly.

“I get dizzy when I look in your eyes,” sang Taylor faintly.

“So let’s take a walk down by the pond,” sang Taylor coyly.

“I’ve got red lips, he’s got red hair,” sang Taylor gingerly.

“Every day with you is like Disneyland,” sang Taylor goofily.

Previously: Goosebumps for Grown-Ups

Photo via.

Holly Richmond has “r-r-r-red” stuck in her h-h-h-head. Sometimes she tweets.