Boy-Crazy But Curious, Dating While Disabled, and Introducing Parents to Your “New Norm”

“You Can Do Anything, As Long As It’s Nothing”: Ballad of the World’s Ugliest Creature

Three Alternative Poems For Your Morning Commute

Interview With a Male CEO of a Women’s Magazine

Sexing Up My Childhood Bedroom

Advice For Writing; Or, What I Know So Far, Which Might Actually Be Nothing At All

The Male Profession’s Female Relative

One Weird Trick to Control Your Boyfriend’s Mind (the Trick Is Pouring Juice in His Dickhole)

Interview with My Mom, the Scientist

An Original Break-Up Song

If the Rest of the World Spoke Like Clinton Kelly

How to Mount a TV When You Have No Boyfriend, No Prospects, and Lack the Shamelessness Required to…

Why Climb?: My Cardio Apostasy

No Country for Old Miley: Cormac McCarthy Describes the Video for “Wrecking Ball”

Things I Could Do with My Ped Egg Foot Shavings

More Men I Might Regret Sleeping With Were It Not For the Music They Introduced Me To

5 Ways to Engage Your Core

When a Man Writes a Woman

Ask a Three-Year-Old: How Do I Deal With My Jealousy?

No Theoryheads Allowed: My 2000s & Wayne Koestenbaum